


let this go

by orphan_account



Category: Ballum, Ben Mitchell x Callum Highway - Fandom, EastEnders (TV), EastEnders (TV) RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Not full on smut, Smut, just oral really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22717672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is a submission for the Secret Valentine thing we had on Tumblr!Set the day after Ben gets Callum back!
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Callum Highway x Ben Mitchell
Kudos: 53





	let this go

**Author's Note:**

> Also my first time writing for Ballum properly and writing gay sex at all so sorry if its a bit shit but hope you enjoy x

The sun was just peeking over the edge of the horizon as Ben stirred in his bed. The weight of a large arm laying across his stomach had woken him. It wasn’t weird for Ben to wake up with an arm over him or his legs tangled with another, but it was the first time in a long time he had woken up naturally.

For the past month, Ben had been waking up with a start or in a sweat halfway through the night and he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep after it. The nightmares had been keeping him up or waking him up and the circles and bags around his eyes were getting deeper and bigger. But last night was different in the best way possible.

Ben’s problems were not solved, not even slightly, but he had at least been able to sleep through the night and that was all because of one person. Said person just happened to also be stirring behind him.

Ben turned to face Callum and just when he thought he couldn’t fall more in love with Callum, his sleepy face had done it again. He felt safe with Callum. Like nothing could hurt him and everything would be okay. The warm fuzzy feeling had disappeared for so long, it almost felt unfamiliar when it had returned but Ben knew exactly what this was.

“Mornin’. When did ya wake up?” Callum asked with half-shut eyes.

“Mornin’. Not been up for long.” Blinking sleepily, Ben asked, “what’re we doing today?”

“Well, that’s up to you. Wanna stay in bed or go down and have breakfast?”

Ben shuffled closer and slotted himself as close as he could to Callum. He didn’t want this feeling to be unfamiliar ever again.

“Mmm, I think we should stay in bed for a little longer. Want you all to myself right now and then we can spend the day with Lex?” Ben paused before adding on, “only if you’re up for it though!”

“Course I’m up for it! Love Lexi, you know that! Now c’mere!”

Callum’s large hands cupped Ben’s face, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. They had shared a lot of kisses before but this one was nothing like the others. This one was peaceful. Soft. It wasn’t rushed or done behind anyone’s backs. It was loving, calm and soft.

Small pecks on Ben’s cheeks, chin and forehead followed until Callum dropped Ben’s head on his shoulder. One of Ben’s arms came to wrap around Callum’s stomach and he came closer until the pair physically couldn’t be closer. Soft patterns were drawn on each other as they just basked in the comfort of having the other close.

There was a serene atmosphere as not a word was shared between the pair and yet the love could be felt all around them. This was the best Ben had felt in so long and he owed it all to Callum. He knew this was a long time coming, especially considering Ben had known how he felt for over a month but thought he was doing Callum a favour by not saying it.

He knew what the peace and relief he felt when he saw Callum even when they weren’t together meant. But he also knew what happened when he felt this way for someone. Which is why he had held back from saying it. But after yesterday, Ben knew that it didn’t matter if he said it or not, he could’ve lost Callum anyways and he wouldn’t, no he couldn’t let that happen.

“I love you.” The words were spoken so softly, they were barely audible and there was no doubt that had it not been completely silent, save for the sound of breaths being taken and expelled, the words would’ve been missed completely.

Callum shot up and turned to face Ben, “w-what?”

“I love you.” This time, Ben spoke clearly and confidently. He didn’t doubt his feelings when he said it the first time but he wasn’t sure how Callum would react. But this time, Ben spoke with confidence.

“Do you really? You’re not just saying that cause you think I want to hear it?”

“No Cal. Promise m’not doing that.” Ben brought Callum’s face in his hands again, pulling him in close and uttered the words again, punctuating them with a kiss. “I love you Callum Highway. With everything I have in me, I love you.”

The elation Callum felt, the way his heart expanded at the sound of those words was indescribable. There was no way to put it into words so Callum hoped that the look on his face and the kiss he pressed onto Ben’s lips would do their justice.

“I love you too Ben. I love you so much. I’ve been wanting to hear that from you for so long and I would’ve waited an eternity just to hear them once.”

“Things haven’t been easy for my love life after you know, Paul. But I want this to work Callum. I am willing to do anything to make this work because I love you.” Ben contemplated before adding on, “it only took one look at you yesterday you know that? I saw you come out of the Vic yesterday and I knew. I knew I couldn’t leave you and Lexi behind.”

Callum’s eyes were watering at how Ben was opening up for him. This is all he wants from Ben. “This will work Ben. We will make it work. Just gotta be honest and trust me and we’ll be fine, we will make it through any and everything.” Callum hoped that this would reassure Ben. “I am never going to be Paul and I would never try to replace him or what you had with him. But I love you and I trust you so we will make this work. Whatever it takes.”

“C’mere.” Ben cupped Callum’s face, crawling on top of him and began kissing him. Lightly pressing soft kisses at first but they soon grew heavier as hands began to roam bodies.

Ben moved his hands up and under Callum’s sleep shirt, fingertips digging into the sides as he pulled Callum closer, not that it was possible. Calloused fingers rubbed at Callum’s skin. It didn’t take long for Callum to follow Bens lead and soon touches turned into heavy petting.

Callum’s shirt was soon pulled off leaving him in only his boxers. Ben trailed kisses down Callum’s chest, stopping to pull ever so slightly on his nipples and swipe them with his tongue to soothe the ache before shuffling lower.

Ben stopped at Callum’s abdomen, nuzzling and licking at it. He wanted to show Callum every bit of love and appreciation he had without saying the words because even though he had just said them, they still felt a bit odd coming out of his mouth.

Callum groaned and moaned and tugged at Ben to just do something, anything. Ben’s heart swelled with pride when he saw the mess that his boyfriend had become under him. He loves seeing Callum like this, all desperate and needy and all by his doing.

Ben gave into Callum’s desperate pleas and began to press kisses on the head of Callum’s cock. His tongue peeked out every so often to lick. The moan that fell out of Callum’s mouth would have woken everybody in the house up, if it had not been completely empty.

Callum’s noises only urged Ben on further and he began to suckle on Calum’s cock before swirling his tongue around the spongy head. He wrapped a hand around the base and started to swallow down as much of Callum as he could, stroking what he couldn’t.

Groans tumbled loudly out of Callum’s mouth as he pushed Ben to take more of his cock in by wrapping his hands in Ben’s hair and thrusted his hips up. The unexpected movement caused Ben to choke and pull off to heave in some breaths between pressing kisses on the skin around Callum’s cock. But it wasn’t long until Callum’s begging brought Ben back to Callum’s cock and he got back to work.

Ben began to take deeper breaths through his nose and relax his throat so that he could take more of Callum in. Ben fixed his eyes on Callum and the sight of his boyfriend completely wrecked just by his mouth had Ben moaning with pleasure. The hand that wasn’t wrapped around the base of Callum’s cock came down to palm at the arousal sitting in Ben’s boxers. Callum’s eyes met Ben’s and combined with Ben practically deepthroating him while looking at him dead in the eyes, Callum was bucking his hips as he came.

Ben stopped palming himself and brought his hand up to Callum’s stomach, rubbing gently to bring him back down slowly. Ben pulled his lips up one last time, stopping at the head of Callum’s cock to suckle before Callum pushed him off, groaning with sensitivity.

A smirk spread over Ben’s face as he spoke, “how was that?”

“Amazing but it’s your turn now.” He began to shuffle down before Ben stopped him with a hand on his arm.

As much as Ben wanted Callum to just have his way with him, he also just wanted to lay with Callum for a bit and soak in the feeling of having him back. “Not yet, babe,” Ben crawled over Callum’s body and clung to him like a koala, “jus wanna hold you for a bit.”

Callum would never deny Ben of anything so that was what they did. They laid there wrapped in each other’s arms and a thought ran through Ben’s mind.

_ **He couldn’t believe he had nearly let this go.** _

**Author's Note:**

> [@moxleysbaby on tumblr](https://moxleysbaby.tumblr.com/)   
[@mitchellandhighway on tumblr](https://mitchellandhighway.tumblr.com/)   
[@callumhiqhway on twitter](https://twitter.com/callumhiqhway)


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